epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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