worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Randomize
