And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
