i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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