i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
