even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize