Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
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Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize