we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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