There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
