Do vagina's smell?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
