Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize