Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize