just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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