addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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