So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
