i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
