Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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