nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
