im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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