Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
