I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Do vagina's smell?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
