Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
