I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
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The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
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Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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