Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
