This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
