ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
