Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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