my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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