I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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