thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
