Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I think your dad took our porno
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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