Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
