so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize