I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize