We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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