Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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