Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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