I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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