Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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