it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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