11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Randomize
