I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
