is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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