I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
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