so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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