I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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