Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
