I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
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I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
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There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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