just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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