Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
