Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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