YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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