Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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