Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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