His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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