you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
there was a trapeze. enough said
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
