Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
