you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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