their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
