Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
