just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
