break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
