I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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