i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize
