She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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