we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
